…and someone called you Ezekiel, that would mean that you are supposed to be quiet.

…and you crawled underneath the table while we are all eating lunch, you’d most likely get kicked…and it wouldn’t have been on accident, either.

…and you saw us with uncooked spaghetti noodles sticking out of our mouths, just know that that’s completely normal.

…you would [almost] always see certain members of the family bare foot. Even in the winter.

…you might see large black tubes (the kind you take to the river or ride on in the snow behind a fourwheeler) on our trampoline. Why? Because merely jumping on a trampoline isn’t good enough. There’s always something we can do to embellish it a little.

…you would hear my little brother yodeling or whistling or singing. There’s no chance that you could possibly miss that.

…you would likely hear someone playing violin, especially if you come in the afternoon.

…you would have likely missed the two kids sitting on the branch of a tree over the driveway.

…and we told you that there were two children (or more) sitting in the aforementioned tree over the driveway, you would probably go to the window and say, “Oh my, sure enough! There they are!”

…and you went in our garage, you would see up to eight unicycles (or more…my counting skills aren’t up to par right now since it’s 10 o’clock at night) hanging on the wall.

…and you saw twelve children running around the yard, playing on the trampoline, in the sandbox, or at the top of a tree…they aren’t all ours. Six of them are friends.

…during school time, you would leave and never come back again.

…in the summer, you would see hole-y jeans and bare feet everywhere.

…and you saw the picture of the whole Bergen family on our wall, you would say, “Wow, there are a LOT of people in your family!” And I would say, “Yeah, well, since that picture was taken, our family has doubled in size — everyone has gotten taller.”

…and Brady tells you to pull his finger, don’t. It’s a bad idea. Don’t ask why, because you really don’t want to know.

…and no one gives you a polite “hello,” don’t be offended. It means you’re considered part of the family.

…and you die laughing on a regular basis, you’ll fit right in.

…and I wasn’t anywhere to be seen, that means I’m probably on a bike ride.

…and I’m weed-whacking our yard, sneak up behind me and see if you can tell what I’m talking to myself about. Actually, don’t. You might not live through the experience.

…and I’m sitting here typing on my laptop, I’m either writing one of my books, an email, or a blog post.

…and I’m sitting here laughing at something on the screen of my laptop, you can bet I’m on Pinterest.

…and I’m sitting here at my laptop with my headphones on, that means it is cold and I’m using them as ear muffs. Haha, just kidding.

…and you saw me staring blankly at my laptop, you would guess quite accurately that I am trying to figure out what on earth to write to you all about.

…and I asked you if you thought I should be done writing this long blog post by now, you might say yes. But you might say no.

Either way, I’m done now.